Insecure Much

Today’s weather is great for cuddles and some Netflix with strokes in between but the way my life is set up 🙃. Yes I’m that type that thinks about strokes in this weather instead of farming 🤷🏽‍♀️.
A story!
The year 2004, I didn’t know anything about boys except for the odd crush here and there. I didn’t know the concepts of love for a boy but at the age of 12/13 I mean what the fuck right? I once had this massive crush on this one boy, I’ll call him Kay. Kay knew that I had a crush on him and all he did was just laugh about it and that made me sad because I really really loved him. A few weeks later, Kay asked out this other girl who was light skinned, see the insecurities creeping in, girl was pretty I think and who was I against her? Right? Thembeka the dark caramel girl against the light skin 😂😂. What was I thinking? I started feeling very unsure about myself and who I was but at 12/13 I mean 🤷🏽‍♀️. That’s how I lost Kay. The funny thing is that a few years later Kay and I hooked up in Johannesburg when I was still in varsity but I didn’t feel him like that anymore, Kay wanted me but I didn’t. He got the hint...